


She asked me to jump

by Mycroffed



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU: Asylum, AU: Imaginary girlfriend, AU: the doctor is human, AU: the doctor is just a character in John Smith's head, F/M, Rose works in the asylum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-13 03:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3366590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycroffed/pseuds/Mycroffed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Smith is in the asylum and he's pretty happy with his imaginary girlfriend Lilly. When Rose Tyler comes to work there, his world is about to change, even though he doesn't know it yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written a lot already and I will be able post at least a chapter every day for the coming week. xx

Rose Tyler had studied years to be able to do this. She had known, ever since she was a small girl, that she wanted to work with people who were different. Hell, she was different too! She wanted to travel all over the world, but she couldn’t unless she got money. Her mother had given all she had so that she could go to college. And now she had finally graduated and was starting her first tryout period in an asylum.

She was quite nervous actually, about working there. It could be the perfect job for her, but at the same time, the people living there could be absolute nutters, not the slightly crazy, too different for the society to handle people.

When she knocked on the door of the principal’s office, she heard a bark which was supposed to sound like ‘come in’. She got in and looked at the principal. He was old – around sixty, so almost ready to retire – short and round. The grey hair on top of his head only finished the piece that was the man.

Using the same barking voice he had used to call her in, the principal, Mr. Jackson, shouted at her that she was late. A quick glance at her watch confirmed that she was in fact three minutes late – three minutes, which she had spent admiring the Victorian age building. She started to make her apologies, but the man stopped her immediately. He quickly explained her duties and rights before he threw her out of his office, straight into the pit of hell. Or so it seemed.

Rose was placed in the area where the people lived who were lost in another world. She could see someone who believed to be in space and who was walking around with a fish bowl on his head to keep the air in. And there was someone who was convinced that he was Richard III. She glanced over at the other nurses. There were three of them and they looked all very similar. They were all tall and more or less the same height, had the same sort of facial features which made them look like kind women who could be singers for little kids. The main difference between the three was their hair color. The first one, who had a deeper voice than the other two, had red hair and called herself Karen. The next one had black hair and was named Kristel and lastly, the blonde, her name was Kathleen. They claimed to be from Belgium to explain the weird names.

The three ladies – she called them K3 in her head – quickly introduced her to all the inmates. The mad who was in space was called Kenny, while Richard III’s real name was Billy, though he refused to listen to it. They said all the other names as well, but Rose gave up after the first two. When at the end of the tour around the room K3 wanted to get her out so that she could explore the building – which had apparently secret passages and way too many hallways to explore in one day – Rose noticed a man in the back.

“Who’s that?” she asked Kristel.

Kristel shrugged. “His name is John Smith, though he listens better if you call him the Doctor. He’s quite normal actually, apart from the fact that he has an imaginary girlfriend he calls his companion.”

Rose nodded and looked a bit closer at the man. He had dark brown hair that stood up in spikes and was dressed in a brown, lined suit with a blueish tie. She pushed down the urge to walk over to him and get to know him as she turned back to the three nurses.

“So what do I do now?” Rose looked around the room and briefly noticed the huge chandelier on the ceiling.

“You need to know your way around, so you should go to Mrs. Hudson to get a tour. She’s worked here all her life and she knows the house better than we do. And she also makes amazing tea.” Karen smiled fondly at the thought.

“And I’m allowed to do this? Ignore work to go exploring?”

“Oh of course, dear. It’s all scheduled.” Kathleen got out a piece of paper and handed it to her. And yes, her schedule for today was nothing but ‘explore premises’. She smiled. Maybe this day wouldn’t go so bad after all.


	2. John Smith

John Smith didn’t look up or do even as much as move when the new nurse came in. He knew she was there, but he was too busy talking to Lilly, his girlfriend. She was currently stroking his hair while he was talking about how he had saved the universe. He hadn’t told anyone yet, but he was a time traveler and even though his ship, the TARDIS, had been taken, he hadn’t given up on his duty to save the people around the house from the dangers that presented themselves. The only problem was that those dangers were scarce.

So it was Lilly who told him that there was a new nurse. He briefly looked up at her and quickly took her in once again. The woman was about as old as he was – which meant around thirty or forty – and her dark brown hair fell graciously around her shoulders. Her warm green eyes seemed to draw his attention every time he looked at her. She tilted her head slightly, as if to ask why he was looking at her like that, but he just shook his head. Don’t ask. She knew he loved her.

It was when he heard the nurse asked who he was that he became interested. He realized that the nurses still thought he was quite normal – nothing could be further from the truth – but he was still curious what her reaction to him would be. He didn’t know her name yet, but he was planning to.

Lilly told him that she didn’t shy away at the information that he still had an imaginary girlfriend – he didn’t! Lilly was as real as she could be! – and even checked him out. Her tone grew a bit sour at the last bit of information, but he pretended not to notice. He glanced over at the girl when she was asking about the rest of the day and her bright blonde hair and blue eyes strung a chord inside him. Lilly huffed, getting his attention back.

“You know I love you and only you, my dear.” He whispered. He knew it upset the nurses if he talked out loud to his girlfriend, so he tried to communicate through whispers and looks. Most of the time they managed, but sometimes it drove him a bit crazy that he couldn’t just talk or kiss. Those things were reserved for the night time.

Even though he knew Lilly didn’t approve, he still followed the blonde’s moves around the room. He watched her glance up and briefly admire something and he chuckled silently at the admiration in the girls eyes. She obviously wasn’t used to such an old building. He secretly wished that they would lock eyes and there would be a spark, even though he was already in love. There was just something about this blonde that spoke to him, attracted him, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. So that was why he sighed deeply when she left to have tea with Mrs. Hudson.

Karen had heard the sigh and looked over at him. He smiled up at her politely. He needed to tell her that it was his business whether or not he sighed when someone left, but the sparkle in her eyes stopped him. Maybe this was a good thing. This could become something he could use, something that would get him some extra dessert. He loved dessert.


	3. Rose Tyler

Even though her day had mainly consisted out of sneaking around the house, opening random doors and looking in the rooms behind them, she was still freakishly tired. While she made her dinner, she went over the most important things of the day once more. So she had met the three nurses, who she thought were nice and pretty cool, but she didn’t seem to have met a doctor yet. Maybe she would meet one tomorrow. She hoped she would. Anyway. Then there was that man. John Smith. The Doctor. She didn’t really know what to think of him, but he seemed… cool, she guessed.

He was definitely different from all the other patients, who were completely lost in their own world. John Smith seemed to be able to function in this part of reality as well, based on what she had heard from the nurses – she had been asking questions about the man as soon as she had returned from exploring the house. So, yes, he had an imaginary girlfriend, but the doctor could do something about that right? Right? Suddenly she wished she had paid better more attention to this part when she had been at college.

She abandoned her food for a minute to go looking for her books about the subject. She should still have them somewhere. She knew she had brought most of her college textbooks along from home when she moved out into this rather nice apartment that was much closer to her work now. After about a minute of digging through books, she got the one she was looking for. Quickly scanning over the pages, she walked back to the kitchen, almost – but not quite – falling over the carpet.

She put the book down on the dinner table and while she physically returned to the counter to finish her dinner, her head was still looking at the pages of that book, scanning for the words ‘imaginary friend’. She still remembered that it was usual for small kids to have them, but also that they went away over time. The longer they stayed, the more they were a sign of a very vivid imagination.

It was the smell of smoke that pulled her attention out of the book, back to the present. She bit her lip nervously as she saw that she was actually burning her cooking pasta – how the hell did you do that, Rose? She mentally scolded herself. She quickly got everything out and tried to separate the burnt pastas from the good ones. Once that job was done, the sauce had almost burnt as well, so she just sat down at the dinner table. She sighed deeply. Why was she so distracted by a man she had met once? It was not like he had talked to her or anything. He hadn’t even looked at her.

She closed her eyes as she gave up on cooking something healthy today. She tried to think of something kind of healthy in the freezer, but no such luck. It would be take away then. She grabbed her phone, ordered some Chinese food and then dug into the book.

She was only disturbed by the bell – she got up and paid for the food before returning to the table – and it was only about ten pm that she realized that what had started as just getting some background information on how to handle the man, had turned into trying to find a solution for his situation. She had grabbed her laptop and had been researching for almost two hours now. Not that she had a solution that satisfied her. Besides, she didn’t know John Smith well enough for that. But she had plenty more days to take care of that.

It was two am before she realized how the time had slipped out of her hands. If she didn’t go to bed soon, she would have a lot of trouble getting out of bed the next morning. And god knew that it was a hard task for her, even when she did sleep long enough. She rubbed her temples and went straight to bed, leaving her laptop and papers and books and everything else she had used on the table. Once she saw her bed, she collapsed on it and fell asleep like a little angel.


	4. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be some shorter chapters following. I'll try to make up for that later. I'll also post two chapters today. ONe now, and one later this night, because tomorrow I probably won't have enough time to post it. And even if I did have time, I might not be in the mood. Too many classes. Anyway, I enjoy you enhope these chapters anyway.

When she arrived at work the next morning – a bit too late, she had overslept – there was no more visible sign that she hadn’t had a lot of sleep. She greeted Kristel, who had opened the door for her, kindly and got inside, immediately taking off her coat because it seemed like the people who worked here always turned the heating on until maximum. Relieved that she felt a bit better now, she walked towards the corner of the room where John Smith was sitting. She had made herself a promise last night. Today, she would talk to him. And all the other patients. But mostly him.

“Hello John.” She started off, trying to sound cheerful. “It’s a wonderful morning, isn’t it?”

There was no reaction. The man was busy talking to someone she couldn’t see – the invisible girlfriend, she presumed – and didn’t even glance up at her. Her body language told her that he had noticed her, or the tenseness in his shoulders would be very weird. Karen had noticed that Rose had tried to make contact and walked over.

“Don’t worry, Tyler, this is perfectly normal. He needs Lilly’s approval to talk to you and as long as she doesn’t know who you are, he’s not going to react to you in any way.”

Rose frowned as she heard that. “But he doesn’t look like a man who is under the control of a woman.”

“The mind does strange things to us, Rose, you have no idea.” And after that, she walked over to other patients who needed her attention more than the odd man in the corner. It was when Karen was at the other side of the room, talking to Richard III, that she noticed a small glance from John. It made her heart go all weird, like she saw something more behind that gesture, which was ridiculous of course.

Rose got back on her two legs and walked to the other side to join Karen and talk to some other patients. She made sure that she started each conversation with the same question.

“It’s a wonderful morning isn’t it?”

Most of the patients ignored her, which was – once again – not a surprise. After all, she was still new. After doing her round, she gave everyone their pills and then she did everything the nurses asked her to do. Before she knew it, the day had flown by. She had glanced over at John at regular intervals, but there had still been no other reaction than the glance. Before going home she greeted him once more before she grabbed her coat and took off.


	5. John Smith

As soon as the new nurse – Rose, Lilly claimed her name was – had left, John glanced over at the place where he had last seen her. He sighed softly, still seeing the shadow of the young woman, still hearing a faint laugh in the distance. He shook his head. No, he wasn’t hearing anything. All he heard was Lilly’s voice in his ear, telling him not to listen to it and not to look at the nurse.

He looked up at her and opened his mouth to try and convince her to let him at least talk, become friends. There was nothing wrong with that, right?

‘Doctor, you know how I feel when you look at other girls...’ Lilly pouted and looked so incredibly sad for a moment that John’s heart almost broke on the spot. He held his arms out to her and as soon as she was settled in them, he wrapped them tightly around her.

“Then I won’t. Not until you’re ready. I promise.” John smiled up at his girlfriend. Her green eyes warmed up at the sound of that and she kissed him out of gratitude.

‘Thank you, Doctor!’

The doctor glanced a last time to the door through which Rose had gone out and then turned all his attention to this brilliant woman in his arms.


	6. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting close at the end with the writing part. I'll soon know how many chapters are left soon. I'll probably be able to keep posting daily now

The weeks went by and Rose got used to things. She tried to talk to John Smith every day, but he never replied. He looked at her and listened when she talked, but apart from that? Nothing. The look in his eyes told her that he was really interested, but that something was holding him back from talking to her. She sighed, she could guess what it was.

But after a couple of weeks, suddenly he engaged more with her. There was a gleam in his eyes when she walked over to him and she couldn’t help but smile when she saw it. It seemed like the man was glad when she talked, eager to listen to her ramblings about life outside the asylum. He never asked questions, but Rose had found a way to communicate with the man without him speaking a word. She would just ask simple yes or no questions and John Smith would simply shake his head or nod.

Today seemed different though. The man still had the same gleam in his eyes, but when she greeted him, he actually replied to her. With words. She saw him glance over to someone next to her – even though she was along, so she just suspected he had looked at his imaginary girlfriend – and his expression had turned smug. Like it was a small victory to him that he could talk.

“Is there anything you’d like to know, John?” Rose smiled warmly at the man, so glad that she could ask more normal questions instead of the yes or no ones.

“I’m not John.” Was the first thing he said after the reply. “I’m the Doctor.”

“Well then, Doctor.” She smirked slightly. “Anything you want to know? Or would you like to talk for once?”

“How about I tell you about that time Lilly and I were stuck in America because the FBI thought we were traitors? Or that time I met Elisabeth the first?”

The list with his adventures went on and on and Rose felt a tiny twinge of sadness that she seemed to be excluded from all of them. She took a deep breath, put her supporting smile back on her face and listened to the man, who couldn’t stop talking about his ridiculous adventures with Lilly and a device he seemed to call the TARDIS – Time and Relative Dimension in Space, he had proudly explained.

When John noticed that her enthusiasm had lessened considerably every time he mentioned Lilly, he quietly asked her: “Or would you like to go on an adventure with me?”


	7. John Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I missed yesterday's chapter, but I am sick and right now I'm wrapped in my duvet on my bed, but yesterday, I slept almost the entire day, so that's why I didn't post anything. But from now on, things should be posted daily again.

_Or would you like to go on an adventure with me?_

John hit himself around the head as soon as he had said that. He was an idiot. Not only was he sure that Rose would say no – he had finally got permission from Lilly to talk to her – but the look on Lilly’s face also predicted a thunderstorm. He had made a mistake that might make him lose both his friends. Not that Rose had ever told him anything like that, but he did count her as one. He was the first one she talked to in the morning and the last one she said goodbye to when she left to go home. He sighed. Yes, he would lose her.

To his big surprise, a big grin appeared on the blonde’s face as she nodded. “I’d love that.” She almost laughed. “Just you and me.”

He glanced over at Lilly – something he shouldn’t have done – and she was shaking her head rather violently. She didn’t approve this… this adventure time idea. Especially not since Rose had suggested that Lilly couldn’t come. She would never leave him alone with the blonde nurse. He sighed once more before he looked back at Rose, ignoring Lilly for once.

“You don’t have to…” Rose had managed to misinterpret his sigh and thought that her suggestion for just the two of them had gone too far, but nothing could be more wrong.

“No, I’d love to go on an adventure with you. It’s just that Lilly isn’t too fond of the idea.”

Lilly rolled her eyes at his sentence. _Not too fond._ There wasn’t a worse expression he could’ve used to explain the brunette’s mood.

“Can’t she miss you for a couple of hours?” Rose whispered conspiringly. She honestly thought that he could just leave Lilly for a bit, but she was always with him. Everywhere he went, she went. Even when he couldn’t see her, she somehow knew what had happened. He frowned slightly at that realization. How was that even possible? How could she know things when she wasn’t there to witness them? He’d have to ask his girlfriend that soon.

He then realized that Rose was still waiting for a reply and shrugged to get those thoughts out of his head for at least this conversation. “She will have to.” He smirked mischievously.

“Very well then.” Rose had a huge grin on her face as she got up again. “Tomorrow then?”

The doctor nodded contently as she quickly ruffled his hair before she walked to the next patient, Billy – or Richard III, as he would prefer to be called. He didn’t take his eyes off her as she talked to the man in that same voice she had just used with him. Careful, but still enthusiastic, like she really did care. It was when he caught her eyes that he saw the difference: there was no shimmer in her eyes that betrayed how much she really cared. The man smiled widely but as soon as he returned his gaze to Lilly, that smile immediately disappeared. There was thunder coming.


	8. John Smith

John had been right. As soon as he had turned back to Lilly, her eyes had caught fire. He had never seen her this angry, he suddenly realized, but then again, there had never been someone to rival her position as his one and only friend. Then it hit him. Rose was not in a competition with Lilly only for his friendship, but also for his love. Because yes, he had slowly fallen for the blonde. He smiled sadly at Lilly, who was trying not to lash out to him too soon.

“Lilly, I… You won’t be able to change my mind.”

‘I won’t let you go with her alone.’ She snapped, her anger flowing through her like magic right before a spell. A spell she would cast on him.

John shook his head. “You have no choice but to let me go. I’m an adult, I can make my own choices.”

The man was vaguely aware of the looks he was getting, not only from the K3 women, but also from Rose and the other people in the room. He didn’t really care about them – except Rose of course – but he didn’t want to get into any trouble, so he started to walk towards his room, postponing the conversation a tiny bit. He needed to think this through before he hurt Lilly irreparably. If he pushed her away now, and Rose rejected him, he would once again be completely alone, and god knows that being alone was not a good choice for him.

He reached his room quite soon. Unlike the other people in the asylum, he had a single room. He knew why, nobody wanted to share one with the crazy man who talked to someone who wasn’t there. He heard the whispers, he wasn’t stupid. He knew Lilly wasn’t visible to the others. She was his own little secret. Or at least she had been. He had never really cared for the rumors, this room gave him an opportunity to be alone with Lilly. And he had used to be quite happy with that. But for one, John wished that he could actually be completely alone so that he could figure out what to do.

He turned around towards the feeling of anger he felt towards him. He always knew how Lilly felt, he now realized. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for the arguments that he knew that were coming.

‘I do have a choice.’ Lilly snarled. ‘I can choose to come with you and you won’t be able to stop me either because – guess what – I’m an adult too and this makes your argument not valuable anymore.’

The man shook his head. “Lilly, I ask you for once to leave me alone. If that’s even possible. I know we have bonded and I now realize that‘s how you know everything about me and I know everything about you, but please. For once, give me this little bit of privacy.”

‘So you can do what? Go on a date with this nurse? I know you’re falling in love with her, you idiot! And I won’t give you up so easily! I’m your oldest friend, I have known you since you were a little boy. Remember when you were all alone at school, who would be at your side, making sure the bullies would leave you alone? And later, when you were in college, who would be there to support you while you were studying? I have always been there for you and now you’re just casting me away for this blonde idiot, just because she has a kind smile and pretty blue eyes! Just because she is new and exciting doesn’t mean that she’s good for you! Please, Doctor, don’t throw me away like a used toy just because she has turned your head like she’s a little puppeteer. She’s trying to get between us and I really don’t want to lose you…’ Lilly sobbed the last few words. She meant what she said, she really did. She was honestly just looking after her best friend and lover.

John looked at the ground embarrassed. She was right. It probably was just the fact that she was new and kind and the first one in years – except for Lilly – to actually care about how he felt, other than the doctors and the other three nurses who just asked him because they had to. And Rose probably just wanted to get between the two of them, get him separated, get him alone so that he was vulnerable again and then she could strike. But what if he did let her do this, what if he did let her in? They would be happy for a while, but eventually she would break his heart one way or another. He shook his head. Lilly was right. She was always right. How could he have been so stupid? He couldn’t feel anything stronger for the blonde but friendship. He should push away his feelings of love or focus them mainly on the brunette that loved him so much.

‘I love you.’ The brunette whispered, breaking his train of thought.

“I know.” He whispered back. “And I love you too. So, so much.”

She smiled slightly. ‘I love you the most.’

Normally, John would start to argue that because he loved her even more, but now, he wasn’t that certain anymore. If he loved her the most, more than she loved him anyway, would he have fallen in love with Rose? No. No, he wouldn’t. Lilly did love him the most and that simply was the truth. And suddenly, it scared him. If Rose could get inside his head, who else would follow? What if other people would start to get to his heart too?

It was at that moment that Lilly spoke again. ‘I know a solution for that.’ She smiled softly. ‘It’s very simple and nobody will ever get this close to you again.’

“What is it?” The man asked curiously. He would take any chance to take away this doubt. He needed to stay faithful to Lilly, to his one true love. Because she had always been there for him, unlike Rose, who just came when she had to, she was just an exceptionally good and kind nurse. He still wanted to take her on an adventure, but Lilly would be there too. Lilly would make sure he didn’t do anything stupid like kiss her beautiful, red and undoubtedly soft lips.

‘You have to leave this world, retreat to the world of our adventures forever and you’ll be safe. Nobody will ever bother you again.’

“And how do I get there? How can I leave here? I’ve been trying for years to leave this place behind!”

‘But you have never tried the most drastic way.’ She whispered.


	9. Rose Tyler

When she saw John Smith leave, there was a little pang in her heart that Rose couldn’t explain. He was just a patient of hers, nothing more. He might have become something like a friend to her, but that still wouldn’t explain why she felt like this. Maybe it was because he was talking to Lilly, his imaginary girlfriend, again. She had been quite happy when he had said that she would not be able to change his mind, it meant that he was, even though it wasn’t her intent in the first place, taking a distance from her. He was starting to doubt her and who she was and most of all, how she knew everything. She had had an imaginary friend too, once, but then her real friends had demanded her attention and soon she had realized that they didn’t know everything about her, that it wasn’t normal for that to happen. So she had paid less and less attention to her friend until he had simply faded away. She was just hoping that the same was happening to John as well. Lilly would be gone, he would be able to leave this place and maybe – maybe – they would have a chance.

Rose tried to put the man off her mind as he disappeared from the room, but that was easier said than done. She just couldn’t stop thinking about him. About how he looked when she walked over to him in the morning, about how his voice sounded, like he was ready to speak Italian all of a sudden – She imagined him saying _molto bene_ and almost melted inside – or French. French probably suited him even better. Something stupid, like _allons-y._ She giggled softly to herself. She was letting her mind take a loop with her.

Suddenly, the man wasn’t just saying words in foreign languages, he was leaning closer to her, softly capturing her lips. She shook her head, trying to get the image out of there, but it failed. She bit her lip softly and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. All that did was make her slightly disoriented, but the image was still there. She tried pushing the man away from her, but he wasn’t really there, so what use was it? She wasn’t going crazy, she was just having a daydream in the middle of a room filled with patients. She had slowly fallen for the man and finally, her conscious mind had caught up with her.

She smiled to herself. There was a reason she couldn’t stand Lilly – even though she had never met the woman – and wanted John to get rid of her


	10. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end of this story. I've got five chapters left to write and one that is already there. So unless my muse is all of a sudden consumed with that other story I'm working on, I should be able to keep posting daily until the end (Which is estimated to arrive about next monday). I'll try to stick to plan. And even if I do not, I still hope you enjoyed reading, thank you for leaving comments and for kudo'ing! xx

When Rose came back to work the next day, John Smith was already jumping around the room, buzzing with excitement. The nurses who had had the morning shift had been complaining about the man and asking themselves what the hell could get this normally so timid and calm man to jump around the room. Their question was answered when John almost immediately ran to Rose as soon as her blonde looks were to be seen in the room. The nurses smiled knowingly at each other, they had seen this many times before, just not in this patient, and it was a good sign, a sign that the madness that had taken hold of him was fading away.

Rose walked over to John and sat him down to say good morning. He grinned in such an endearing way that Rose had to resist pressing a kiss to those lovely cheeks. He immediately started talking gibberish about the adventure they had agreed they would have the day before. He was saying something about how they were back in the past, at one of the imperial fora of ancient Rome and Julius Caesar was walking towards the stairs to the House of the Senate and that Brutus was hurrying close with a dagger drawn.

When Rose asked whether or not they should save the consul for life, the Doctor simple shook his head. He launched into an explanation about how there were fixed moments in time which could not be changed and how this was one of them. Rose looked just strange at him but he seemed convinced of this so she decided not to say anything of it.

Even when Rose walked towards the other patients to greet them all, John just trailed behind her, describing their adventure in ancient Rome. She could barely get a word between two sentences but she didn’t really mind. Not while she could finally see the man filled with a life force she had never seen before.

In the end, they managed to save some of Caesar’s closest henchmen who ended up playing an important role in history. By this time, it had become lunchtime and Rose – and most of the other patients who had been enough by their minds to listen to the story of the Doctor and his companion – was sitting close to the doctor, listening to him talking in that animated voice of his, jumping from one point of the story to the other. They had to stop him every so often to back up a bit so that they could follow. All the jump cuts in his story made sense to him, but not to the other listeners.

When his story had drawn to a close, the other patients returned to their normal business and John grew really quiet. He looked in the distance – or that was what Rose thought he was doing – and seemed to be talking to someone – Lilly, she presumed. He then turned to her with an incredibly sad look on his face and she couldn’t not ask what was wrong.

“If I would die…” He started softly. “If I would die, would you miss me?”

She frowned at that question, it sounded like he was sure that was going to happen very soon, but that wasn’t, she knew nothing /could/ happen, this was the safest place he could be. No way to kill himself, no way to be killed.

“Yes.” She spoke as soon as she found her voice. “Yes of course I would miss you.” She wasn’t speaking out of an egoistic impulse, she was honestly going to miss that man, his spikey hair, his bright blue eyes, the energetic way he talked when he mentioned his stories or his dreams.

“When – if I die… Don’t blame yourself. There was nothing you could’ve done to stop me and it was my own choice. Remember that okay?”

If she had lost her voice before, now she had absolutely no idea what to say. What could she say to something like this? _Oh, great, good to know._ Or _Thanks for letting me know that you’re going to die._ She took a deep breath before she faked a smile and looked at him.

“That isn’t going to happen any time soon, right?” She whispered softly.

If they had had a moment a few seconds ago, that spirit was now broken immediately when a sparkling returned to John’s eyes as he bounced up again, as energetic as before. It was as if those few seconds had never happened.

“Of course not! I will never die, I would simply regenerate!” He did not so much as smile at her but at someone who was standing behind her. She sighed softly. Lilly. They had managed not to mention her all day till now. She had been foolish to think that one day would eradicate the imaginary girlfriend. She watched as the man bounced towards her and walked to a corner of the room, where he whispered softly to someone only he could see.


	11. John Smith

When the Doctor walked towards the corner with Lilly, he suddenly was less sure of what he had promised his girlfriend the day before. When she had explained that there was a way for him to retreat to the world of his dreams forever, he had been critical at first. The man hadn’t really wanted to leave this world, but who was he kidding, apart from a short friendship with Rose there was nothing keeping him here. He was sure that the blonde nurse would survive his death – because that seemed to be the only way. She had managed to convince him with the promise that they could finally be alone forever.

But now that he had asked Rose whether or not she would miss him and he had seen her honest reaction to that question, he started to have doubts again. Did he really wanted to leave that woman, the only one – apart from Lilly – he had developed feelings for? He didn’t, he really didn’t want this to happen and he told Lilly this. Her reaction was fiercer that he had ever expected.

‘Don’t you love me? Don’t you want to be with me forever?’ She shouted at him. ‘I love you so much! If the roles were the other way around I would not doubt for a single second to do this! How can you break a promise like this, Doctor, my love? This is the only thing I have ever asked from you. This one thing is all I want, nothing else. To be with you forever and ever without anyone else to turn your head.’

He knew why she was pushing him so suddenly. It was because of his day with the nurse and the other patients. The day where he had had an audience that had adored him. He sighed before he carefully phrased an answer.

“Of course I love you, Lilly. There’s nothing or nobody I adore more in this world than you. Not even Rose. I promise you now, with all my heart, that I will do whatever I need to do to be with you, but… Does it have to be now? Can’t I wait a couple of days, a week, maybe a month? A little bit more time, that’s all I’m asking of you.”

Even halfway his speech Lilly was shaking her head. No, she wasn’t going to give him time. As he glanced up at her, the few ounces of hope he still had, were shattered in a single headshake.

‘We have been talking about this for years, looking for a way for you to leave this terrible place behind. Now that we finally have a plan, an idea of what to do, now you want to give in? Now you want to stay?’ She shook her head disapprovingly. ‘No, I will not give you extra time. If you want me to stay – if you want _me_ – you’ll have to do it tomorrow and there is no other way.’

The man shook his head and gave in to his girlfriend. “Fine. The plan will set in motion tomorrow morning at dawn.”

Lilly nodded approvingly at the Doctor and smiled softly. Yes, this was going to work. Tomorrow, he would be hers and hers alone, no Rose Tyler to steal him from her.


	12. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I missed a few days, but I was sick. This is also a very short chapter, I realize that, but there are 4 chapters left after this. (If I counted correctly.) I promise the next chapters will be a bit longer again and I'll try to update daily again, but I can't promise anything. I'm going to continue writing right now and hopefully I will be able to finish it.  
> Anyway, thank you for reading kudo'ing and commenting! See you in the next chapter!

When Rose returned to work the next day, she was surprised that she couldn’t find John Smith anywhere. She had asked the K3 women, but even they hadn’t seen him. A quick check over of their room didn’t tell them anything except that the man wasn’t there either. She explored the entire building once again, with backup from every nurse and doctor she could find. Every room in the building was checked, every little corner, every hallway. But there was no sign of the man anywhere.

Rose started to panic slightly. All she could think about were the words the man had said to her yesterday, that moment where he seemed so terribly sad for a few seconds. _If I would die, would you miss me?_ The words kept ringing in her mind, like they were trying to tell her something. What… what if he was going to kill himself? What if he was genuinely trying to see if she would miss him? What if it was a test and she’d failed it?

She shook her head. She couldn’t think like that, she needed to be optimistic. She was going to find him and she’d lead him back to his room where they would talk and she’d tell him the truth. _If you’d die, I’d have no idea what to do with myself._ She took a deep breath and went to look in the only place nobody had gone yet, just because they were so huge. The gardens of the place. They were huge – almost as big as the building itself – and everyone had hoped they wouldn’t have to go look there. The place was full of hiding spots. It was easy enough to lose your own way there.

As soon as she walked out of the building, she heard a noise from above. She shrugged it away as being a bird or something like that. She walked towards the entrance to the gardens and sighed softly. The next part of her task. Great. What she doesn’t do for that man.

The sound repeated itself and a small frown found its way onto her face. She looked up but she couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She did return to the entrance of the building and looked up. Now she could see a shape on the roof, almost like a human, but not quite. She was scared that it might be John Smith and called out for him.

“John? John, is that you?”

The shape took a few steps closer towards the edge of the roof. Now his face was visible and Rose gasped.

“John, please come down!”

The man shook his head. He couldn’t come down, he didn’t want to come down. A cold hand seemed to grab Rose’s heart and squeeze it tightly. She didn’t want that idiotic man to die. She cared for him so much, heck, she was ready to admit that she loved him and she couldn’t lose him, not right now. So she took a few steps closer, as if that might stop the man and looked helplessly as the man threw himself off the roof.


	13. John Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I missed a lot of chapters, but my muse was gone for this story (I might have been writing too many stories at once) But now that there are only 1 or 2 chapters left for me to write I will try to finish it as soon as I can. I have the next chapter already written down with other characters and in Dutch, so all I have to do is rewrite it and then there's only the last chapter left. I promise that I finish it as soon as I can. Cross my heart and hope to die.  
> Thanks for reading, kudo'ing and commenting.  
> Love, the Author.

The Doctor had been woken up by Lilly early that morning. He had taken a deep breath, he had known that this was the day he would have to do it. He had promised and he couldn’t go back from his word without hurting his girlfriend. But that didn’t mean that he was reluctant to go on the roof and jump off it. A year ago he would’ve done it without even thinking – if there was even the tiniest of chances that he would be able to stay with Lilly forever, he’d do it – but now… He wanted to think it through once again. He had met Rose now and he might have gotten a bit attached to the blonde nurse. Maybe too attached for what Lilly would like to see, but still… He shook his head. If he really was going to jump then he would have to stop thinking about Rose.

He got up and dressed, like every morning. The door of his room was already open since the other nurses knew that he woke up pretty early and that he liked to roam around in the empty halls when there was nobody there. He could talk to Lilly during the morning but right now he would rather talk to Rose. Rose. Why was the blonde nurse all he could think about when he should be thinking about Lilly and the life together they were about to start?

Lilly was sitting next to him and pretended not to know what he was thinking about. She knew that she would have him all for herself soon and that Rose wasn’t going to be able to save him. Nope, she wouldn’t be able to save him and that was exactly the point. Lilly smirked slightly before she pressed a kiss to John’s cheek.

‘Come on, love, time to go up.’ Lilly had hidden the smirk in the kiss and now she smiled at him. ‘I can’t wait to have you all for myself.’

The Doctor shrugged and sighed. He didn’t want to stall more – Lilly would notice this – so he just got on his feet and reached for the door. It wasn’t locked so he opened it and walked out. The hallway was deserted – of course it was, it was five am, even the night nurses would be sleeping by now. He left his room and walked straight to the stairs – how was he going to get to the roof, he hadn’t thought this through – so that he could get to the top floor. He had walked over there so many times before – he had a few people that liked him on that floor – and the nurses knew who he was by now.

He roamed around the halls for a bit before he spotted a ladder that brought him to the roof. He climbed it and once up on the roof, he took a deep breath and smiled. He loved air. He walked to the edge and just stood there for a moment. It was only when he was about to sit down on the edge so that he could enjoy the sunrise that he heard his name called from downstairs.

“John? John is that you?”

He walked a bit closer to the edge so he could see who was calling him. He frowned slightly as he recognized the shape of the blonde nurse. Rose. What was Rose doing here? She wasn’t supposed to be here, this was his own moment with Lilly. He didn’t know if he would be able to jump if Rose was there.

“John, please come down!”

‘Don’t listen to her, Doctor, jump. You’ll be with me forever.’ Lilly whispered in his ear. ‘Please, do it for me.’

The Doctor walked to the edge and after a deep breath he threw himself – with a little help from Lilly – off the roof.


	14. John Smith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is to make up for all the days I missed. An extra sad chapter. I hope you enjoy it.  
> Thank you for reading, kudo'ing and commenting.  
> Love, the Author.

The Doctor had fallen from high places before but it had never been like this, never this high and never with the hope of not surviving. He tried to control his breathing, control his fall, but it was of no use. His arms were flailing as he saw the building passing by. He closed his eyes in the hope that it would get better, but the pulling feeling in his gut would not leave. His gut was telling him to call the TARDIS, his ship, make sure he landed in the swimming pool so that he could be safe, so that he could live. His gut was telling him that if he didn’t, he’d die.

A hundred meters left.

He looked next to him and saw Lilly floating gracefully next to him. A small frown appeared on his face. Why wasn’t she falling like him? Why was she floating? Didn’t gravity work on her? He went back to every memory of her where she should have been hurt, or should’ve been falling or at least not floating, any sign that the normal rules of science applied to her as well but no, he couldn’t remember anything. She had never been hurt before, not once. Not when they faced a monster, not when they fall from a height, never. He looked back at his girlfriend and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, she was gone. And that was when it hit him. She wasn’t real.

Only seventy-five meters left.

Lilly wasn’t real and now he could see his whole life, everything he had done but without her. Every time he talked to an empty room, every time he had masturbated and imagined the girl. It all made sense now, how Lilly seemed to know everything, how she always seemed to be everywhere where he was. Lilly really had been just a piece of his imagination, just like everyone had always told him.

Fifty meters.

He finally looked at Rose, locked eyes with her. Now that he had realized that Lilly wasn’t real, he could see what his life could’ve been. He would’ve been set free from this asylum, Rose could’ve been his girlfriend and it would’ve been peaceful. Happy. He promised himself that if – _if_ – he survived this, he would tell Rose exactly how he felt and maybe – just _maybe_ – they would be happy. Maybe there was a happy ending waiting for him.

Twenty five meters to go.

He was falling faster and faster, the ground a green mass coming closer and closer. There was no way he would survive this, John Smith realized. No way that this fall from the top of the asylum wouldn’t kill him. He was a dead man and he would die in front of the woman he loved just mere seconds after he realized that they could be together. Oh the beautiful irony. He closed his eyes briefly and a single tear ran down his cheeks.

Five meters.

The tear hadn’t even reached the bottom of his cheek as he hit the ground.


	15. Rose Tyler

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long to finish! I kind of got carried away by real life and I also was in a bit of a bad place. I'm sorry. But now I finished it in a kind of canonical way. I hope you enjoy it!  
> Thank you for reading, kudo'ing and commenting.  
> Love, the Author.

Rose couldn’t believe her eyes as she watched the man fall. She had finally realized her feelings for this frustrating man, finally accepted them as well and now he was killing himself. She hated herself for not talking to John before he had jumped. She rushed to his side and gently took his head in her hands. She couldn’t care how bloody she would get, all she wanted was to share the last moments of this amazing man.

“John… I’m so sorry…” She sighed slightly. She didn’t even realize that there were tears running down her cheeks. “Why…? Why have you jumped?”

“Lilly…” the Doctor mumbled softly. “She lied to me.”

“What did she lie about?” She asked quietly.

“About… About life…” he tried to shrug, but his broken ribs didn’t allow it – or any other broken bone in his body. “She wasn’t real.”

Rose didn’t know what to say to that. Somehow, knowing that the man she loved had finally realized that his imaginary girlfriend only existed in his head didn’t make it better. He was going to die in her arms.

“She only existed in my head. How… How come I never believed you?” he mumbled again.    

“I don’t know, John.” She whispered, her voice not able to sound any louder. “I really don’t…”

“It’s going to be okay, Rose… I… I know it will be.” The man was starting to have trouble breathing.

“No, don’t… don’t say it. Don’t say goodbye. I refuse. I will get you inside and the doctors will heal you and you will be released and we will be able to be together. I don’t want to give up now.”

“Rose… Rose, please… I know I won’t survive. I’m so sorry. I know I’ll see you again one day.” He almost moaned in pain.

“John. John, I love you.” She pressed her lips against his.

He kissed back weakly and pulled back to mutter something with his last breath.

“Rose… I….”


End file.
